OOO WEE BABY!!!!! My initial posting received generally positive reviews and comments. Those east of Eden liked it, those west of Eden liked it but politely cautioned me that Texans would be offended, and those in Eden (er, TX), so far, have been bloggingly quiet although one Dallas-ite orally exclaimed during a telephone conversation that he was not aware that I hated TX and Texans so much. Mea culpa, or for those of you not Latinized by a nun, priest, monk, or unmarried female Latin teacher in high school - OOPS! I do not hate…that is for Red Sox fans (they hate anything to do with Yankees, even such a fine soul as ARod), racists (everyone who isn’t them), Curt Schilling (anyone to his left – I bet he faked the bloody sock thing), and designated hitters (they hate themselves for being one dimensional).
Hey, get over it! This is bloviation, satire, silliness, and pontification (I get to pontificate because I was abused, I mean raised, as a Roman Catholic – I lost my religion at puberty, however). Man, some of my best friends are Texans…no, really!!! If I tried to name them all I’d be sure to forget someone. So suffice it to say that they run the gamut from A to Z and hail form Texas itself to Kenya, India, New Jersey, Wisconsin, Ohio, Louisiana, Iraq, Lebanon, California, Iowa, Indiana, Illinois, as well as three other RIers (including another Woonsocket Rocket). Hope I didn't leave out a state.
More great things about TX: Austin Land & Cattle; Barbara Jordan; Texas Western beating Kentucky way back when; Earl Campbell; Buddy Holly; the Flatlanders; karst topography; kolaches in West (by far the best); Amy’s Ice Creams (she did learn the trade from Steve Harrell in Northampton MA); Hoover’s (oh, man those smothered pork chops on Saturdays with green beans, okra with tomatoes, iced tea and buttermilk pie are a death row denizen’s dream of a last meal before they stick it to her/him); Big Bend; following Cousin Jack through Beaumont, Houston, Austin, Fredericksburg, Ozona, Van Horn and El Paso (did not get to sleep on the ridge shelf, though); steak; gorditas and tamales at the Little Diner in Canutillo (even though I had to sit beneath a photo of W); sitting in John Maddens chair at Chuy’s in Van Horn (no kidding – check it out!!); dodging deer on I-10 west of San Antonio and east of Fort Stockton; steak; El Mercado and the Riverwalk in San Antonio; armadillos; Willie Nelson; steak; enchiladas pipian; brisket; Dublin Doctor Pepper; steak; Mexican Coca Cola; and the best company head honchos I have ever worked for. Again, mea culpa. And Janis and SRV, of course.
Since kszyman asked such good questions (see comments), I decided to place my responses in the main blog as well as blather on some:
(1) Now that Pat Robertson has endorsed Rudy Giuliani (NYC’s famous fire truck chaser, opportunist DA – see “The Five Families” book for details – and 9/11 liar) God is on Rudy's team and he (Rudy, not God) will need no more new money. Pat will change slot machine slugs into cash at Rudy's next fund-raiser (Rudy will wear the latest Donna Karan business ensemble). I do not harbor any bad vibes about lapsed Roman Catholics who do not attend Mass, especially those who support gay rights and a woman’s right to control all aspects of her own body and soul. So said, I have a problem with Rudy’s penchant for lying, exaggerating, claiming credit for others work (see “The Five Families”) and what he calls his constant praying to God and Jesus. This phony God stuff dripping from candidates’ lips must stop. In Rudy’s case, if you pray to someone or something but do not attend your professed mythology’s gatherings nor attend to its dogma, you are a hypocrite. (That goes for me, also)
(2) Mitt Romney’s hair is just too perfect and he is far too metrosexual for me. And, of course, he exhibits more religious and political hypocrisy. When in MA, Mitt professed gay rights and women’s choice. Hey, when in Rome (no that’s Athens actually)…Now Mitt seems to have been brainwashed (the apple doesn’t fall far from the supermarket shelf) and become a born again Latter Day Saint. He’s a Saul becoming a Paul or George I becoming a religious right stooge. Either way, he’s another hypocrite, but just too cute. I prefer the jowly Richardson, goofy Huckleberry (oops, Huckabee), or alien Kucinich look.
(3) Alas, I have not read Obama's book, so unlike an idiot such as Bill O'Reilly I do not have a stupid opinion to express. Hey, I was in a Hungarian restaurant a couple of weeks ago and darned if the people there spoke English like they were born here.
While I am making fun of the above magnificent intellects, let me dispense with other pretenders to the throne.
(1) Hillary Clinton: too W-like for me and too willing to attack some distant country to show she’s just one of the guys.
(2) Duncan Hunter: what a wack job.
(3) Mike Huckabee: a goofball and an ordained minister to boot (hey, I am one also - minister, that is - and all it takes is responding to the ad in the back of Rolling Stone or High Times).
(4) Dennis Kucinich: as far to the left as he is and as much as I agree with him on just about every issue, there is something about him that bewilders me. Not the UFO thing – Barry Goldwater saw them and he is regarded as a saint by the rapturous right – but it is his being so out of touch with humor. Bill Maher gave him several softballs to hit and Cleveland’s finest Roman Catholic Slav didn’t even swing. Very disappointing, and he plays the God card way too much.
(5) Mike Gravel: despite the fact that he and I went to Assumption College in Worcester, MA (20 some odd years apart) and that he speaks the truth, he does so only because he cannot win.
(6) Barack Obama: talks a spectacular game. His 2004 Democratic convention address had even Republicans mesmerized. But, his congressional record is weaker than either John Kennedy’s or John Kerry’s. I must say that it is far better than W’s pre-Governor of TX resume (W being Gov in TX was actually an uncredited and unintentional homage to Governor William J. Le Petomane in “Blazing Saddles.” Look up Le Petomane and learn what the name means!).
(7) Ron Paul: He is truthful, honest and certainly respects the Constitution (unlike any of the other elephantine candidates). Despite his claims to be a Libertarian, he is running as a Republican and his voting record, while not as dangerous as Hunter, clearly labels him as suspect.
(8) John McCain: His 2004 kiss on W’s cheek was the last straw for me.
Well, I have run out of gas and my new ultra low carb diet does not allow me beans, so I will have to stoke up on cabbage, Brussels sprouts and other green fartables. Other candidates that are running will just have to be patient. In the interim, please consider the words of the renowned Kinky Friedman who, when he announced that he was running for governor of TX, asked, “How hard can it be?”
For the record, I am currently re-reading "On the Road" and "A Child's Garden of Grass" with "Blackwater" on deck.
Hey, get over it! This is bloviation, satire, silliness, and pontification (I get to pontificate because I was abused, I mean raised, as a Roman Catholic – I lost my religion at puberty, however). Man, some of my best friends are Texans…no, really!!! If I tried to name them all I’d be sure to forget someone. So suffice it to say that they run the gamut from A to Z and hail form Texas itself to Kenya, India, New Jersey, Wisconsin, Ohio, Louisiana, Iraq, Lebanon, California, Iowa, Indiana, Illinois, as well as three other RIers (including another Woonsocket Rocket). Hope I didn't leave out a state.
More great things about TX: Austin Land & Cattle; Barbara Jordan; Texas Western beating Kentucky way back when; Earl Campbell; Buddy Holly; the Flatlanders; karst topography; kolaches in West (by far the best); Amy’s Ice Creams (she did learn the trade from Steve Harrell in Northampton MA); Hoover’s (oh, man those smothered pork chops on Saturdays with green beans, okra with tomatoes, iced tea and buttermilk pie are a death row denizen’s dream of a last meal before they stick it to her/him); Big Bend; following Cousin Jack through Beaumont, Houston, Austin, Fredericksburg, Ozona, Van Horn and El Paso (did not get to sleep on the ridge shelf, though); steak; gorditas and tamales at the Little Diner in Canutillo (even though I had to sit beneath a photo of W); sitting in John Maddens chair at Chuy’s in Van Horn (no kidding – check it out!!); dodging deer on I-10 west of San Antonio and east of Fort Stockton; steak; El Mercado and the Riverwalk in San Antonio; armadillos; Willie Nelson; steak; enchiladas pipian; brisket; Dublin Doctor Pepper; steak; Mexican Coca Cola; and the best company head honchos I have ever worked for. Again, mea culpa. And Janis and SRV, of course.
Since kszyman asked such good questions (see comments), I decided to place my responses in the main blog as well as blather on some:
(1) Now that Pat Robertson has endorsed Rudy Giuliani (NYC’s famous fire truck chaser, opportunist DA – see “The Five Families” book for details – and 9/11 liar) God is on Rudy's team and he (Rudy, not God) will need no more new money. Pat will change slot machine slugs into cash at Rudy's next fund-raiser (Rudy will wear the latest Donna Karan business ensemble). I do not harbor any bad vibes about lapsed Roman Catholics who do not attend Mass, especially those who support gay rights and a woman’s right to control all aspects of her own body and soul. So said, I have a problem with Rudy’s penchant for lying, exaggerating, claiming credit for others work (see “The Five Families”) and what he calls his constant praying to God and Jesus. This phony God stuff dripping from candidates’ lips must stop. In Rudy’s case, if you pray to someone or something but do not attend your professed mythology’s gatherings nor attend to its dogma, you are a hypocrite. (That goes for me, also)
(2) Mitt Romney’s hair is just too perfect and he is far too metrosexual for me. And, of course, he exhibits more religious and political hypocrisy. When in MA, Mitt professed gay rights and women’s choice. Hey, when in Rome (no that’s Athens actually)…Now Mitt seems to have been brainwashed (the apple doesn’t fall far from the supermarket shelf) and become a born again Latter Day Saint. He’s a Saul becoming a Paul or George I becoming a religious right stooge. Either way, he’s another hypocrite, but just too cute. I prefer the jowly Richardson, goofy Huckleberry (oops, Huckabee), or alien Kucinich look.
(3) Alas, I have not read Obama's book, so unlike an idiot such as Bill O'Reilly I do not have a stupid opinion to express. Hey, I was in a Hungarian restaurant a couple of weeks ago and darned if the people there spoke English like they were born here.
While I am making fun of the above magnificent intellects, let me dispense with other pretenders to the throne.
(1) Hillary Clinton: too W-like for me and too willing to attack some distant country to show she’s just one of the guys.
(2) Duncan Hunter: what a wack job.
(3) Mike Huckabee: a goofball and an ordained minister to boot (hey, I am one also - minister, that is - and all it takes is responding to the ad in the back of Rolling Stone or High Times).
(4) Dennis Kucinich: as far to the left as he is and as much as I agree with him on just about every issue, there is something about him that bewilders me. Not the UFO thing – Barry Goldwater saw them and he is regarded as a saint by the rapturous right – but it is his being so out of touch with humor. Bill Maher gave him several softballs to hit and Cleveland’s finest Roman Catholic Slav didn’t even swing. Very disappointing, and he plays the God card way too much.
(5) Mike Gravel: despite the fact that he and I went to Assumption College in Worcester, MA (20 some odd years apart) and that he speaks the truth, he does so only because he cannot win.
(6) Barack Obama: talks a spectacular game. His 2004 Democratic convention address had even Republicans mesmerized. But, his congressional record is weaker than either John Kennedy’s or John Kerry’s. I must say that it is far better than W’s pre-Governor of TX resume (W being Gov in TX was actually an uncredited and unintentional homage to Governor William J. Le Petomane in “Blazing Saddles.” Look up Le Petomane and learn what the name means!).
(7) Ron Paul: He is truthful, honest and certainly respects the Constitution (unlike any of the other elephantine candidates). Despite his claims to be a Libertarian, he is running as a Republican and his voting record, while not as dangerous as Hunter, clearly labels him as suspect.
(8) John McCain: His 2004 kiss on W’s cheek was the last straw for me.
Well, I have run out of gas and my new ultra low carb diet does not allow me beans, so I will have to stoke up on cabbage, Brussels sprouts and other green fartables. Other candidates that are running will just have to be patient. In the interim, please consider the words of the renowned Kinky Friedman who, when he announced that he was running for governor of TX, asked, “How hard can it be?”
For the record, I am currently re-reading "On the Road" and "A Child's Garden of Grass" with "Blackwater" on deck.
